my truth word from my heart..

last night i slept at 4 o'clock in the morning.. haha... last night i cried for 2 hours. maybe i had no cried long time... i cried because i already cannt tahan again... actually i knew why i crried last night... last night, my father called me up then he scold me because my brother did mistakes then scold me.. he said i didnot listen his words then my brother follow me.. the story began with my grandma wanted to come here. my dad asked me to buy voucher for digi rm 5o 2 pieces, one for me, one for my brother.. then he asked us dont to fill it...he said if ur grandma wanted to use then fill... ok lo... till my grandma came she wanted to use my hp mah, then mine was expired then i filled it... after tht,he called me again then angry lo.. i explained to him.. then he accepted... after tht, it left 1 piese rm 50 vourcher... i told my brother to dont to fill it.. but after he came from camping, he filled it.. then last night he scold me lo.. haizz then passed lo... after tht i hadnot mood.. sometimes if my brother makes mistake, my parent scold me not them... i'm tired ah to be the eldest... haiZzzz... ya la.. all is my fault....

after tht, i felt my life was bored and tired.. all of my friend can go to which place they want to go... me? only at home.. haiz.. maybe i am jealous... i'mnot jealous they go with who... but i'm jealous why they can free?? they can go to everywhere... me, cannt my parent willnot let me go.. my parent will say "if u often go out with friend it is waste, my brother will follow ur bad attitude".. haizz i heard this sentences much time.. i know they care and worry to me but it is over le... sometimes at this age, i really want to go out... sometimes i hope i havenot brother but i hope i have big sister...coz i like to go out walk2... in home, i am the eldest i need to take care of brothers.. haizz.... sometimes i am jealous why their parent can at their side takes care of his / her brother... besides tht, when i was at primary school, i must learn how to berdikari, learn how to take care of brother.. i know this will be useful to me in my future... but i still in my world...

i'm alone.. my world have only me... who understand me?? noone lo... my parent?? no, they are busy.. only asked "what r u doing ah?? how ah ur exam??, already eat mah???then ok lo.. remember to drink vitamin ah?" only these... then off the phone... haizz... friends?? they r busy with their activities... said goods news or drama de friends got many but if sad a fews... true fried best friends... hahaha

i think i am really childish... because i am still yong.. i want to be children again.. hahaha... sometimes to be children is happy, many people cares, love.. haha actually i want to thank someone .. he is a nice boy... he is special from the other boy which i know... he is cold boy.. i'm sorry my "cool","handsome", "liang zai" these words is only for artist.. hahaha... sometimes he was cold, but he care about me.. we always play game together.. he is good listener... to be his friend, i'm gan dong ooo... tinggal sedikit i fall in love to him.. but not lo.. coz in his heart got someone.. hahaha i like him... but i hope he dosnot know lo.. coz i scare he will hide me lo...thx... coz u is there when i need u..

sorry friends, if i am really childish... i'm sorry... coz this is real de me... i'm sorry if i am annoyed for all of u... i willnot interferee all of u... i'm bad... sorry...

mabel, happy birthday ooo.. 18 years old lo...^^ wish u are health always, wish all ur dream come true..^^

last night, i heard "cry on my shoulder" my tears cant stop but more falling... after cry, my feeling better... after cry then sleep... after sleep, heart is empty... nothing to think.. i prefer to be alone and those problem i will put in my heart never let other people know... sorry if i'm selfish... although nice or bad i will put in my deep deep heart... after woke up, my eyes was bengkak...... my world still have me... anybody here?? nono...